This last year I was having a VERY HARD TIME with my daughter growing up and leaving on a mission. I was sharing my heart with the Lord and telling Him how sad I was, how I didn’t want to let go, the Spirit kindly said, learn about being a Matriarch, I was instantly confused, what? Why? How would that help me with my sweet girl leaving? I did not understand but because I trust the spirit I stared learning about it and WOW! What an amazing beautiful journey. I will share more of that later, But for now let’s focus on WHAT IS A MATRIARCH ANYWAY?
Here’s what I have learned so far - She is a woman who has earned the love and respect of those around her through her strength, commitment, and the kind of love that is wise and unconditional. A matriarch is someone who creates a space for all under which she gathers the people she chooses to love—whether that’s her family, her friends, or even her community. Her influence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room or the one making all the decisions; it’s about the quiet, steady presence of wisdom and love she brings to the lives of those around her.
You see, the word matriarch often gets confused with matriarchy. And yikes they are not the same thing! Matriarchy is a society ruled by women, they are over the men. A matriarch on the other hand works with her husband and TOGETHER THEY LEAD! It isn’t about being in control of others or situations. It’s not about authority. Her value comes from who she is and what she offers just by being there, by nurturing, by listening, by providing a safe place for those she loves. She can lead very well but not control or her getting her way. To be a Matriarch you do not have to be married, also divorced women and widows can also become Matriarchs.
The stages of a woman’s life can be categorized as the maiden, the mother, and the matriarch. Unlike the word maiden, which used to be used often matriarch was not used until recently. More on this later, what the Spirit taught me on why it hasn’t been used until recently is AMAZING!!! :-) I am on fire about this! Anyways, because it has not been widely used in history we don't always know how to value the richness and wisdom that comes with age. Instead, society tends to hold up younger women as the ideal, and we forget that the matriarch’s influence is just as powerful—if not more so. Older women are often given negative labels—“the old hag,” “the witch”—and these unflattering images have made it harder for us to embrace what it really means to grow older with grace and wisdom. Why? This has been done intentionally because where there is not vision the people perish! When there is no vision for the importance and beauty of growing older we end up with a society obsessed with staying younger and causing problems within their family because hold on to a role they are not meant to stay in.
But here’s the truth that the adversary had tried to hide matriarch is a beautiful and even sacred word. It represents a stage in life when a woman becomes stronger in herself, more confident, and more free. It is a time when she can step fully into her identity, let go of the things that no longer serve her, like judging others or comparing herself and instead pour herself into the lives of others in a way that is both deep and lasting.
In the context of the gospel, the matriarch’s role becomes even clearer. As women, we are taught to nurture, to love, and to trust in God’s plan for our lives and for the lives of those around us. A woman doesn’t have to give up her role as a mother to transition into the matriarch role. It is not just about age. Many women grow older but never become a matriarch. Because it is not about age, if she is wise, the process begins while her children are still in the home. It starts with giving them space to grow, to become independent, to learn to stand on their own. If she parents her children intentionally, with love and reliance on the Lord she is already becoming a matriarch. Yes, it’s hard. It’s hard to let go of being the one who always knows what’s best, but it’s also incredibly freeing when you know your children are truly in God’s hand and you choose to trust Him to direct and lead her children.
As years go on and she lets go of the role of “caretaker” and steps even more fully into the role of matriarch, a woman finds a kind of freedom she’s never known before. She begins to understand herself in deeper ways, and her confidence grows. She realizes when she lives in a way that her children and others COME TO HER and seek out her advice and wisdom. This allows her to begin to celebrate the lives and achievements of others, to listen deeply, and to offer support without trying to fix everything. She knows that she doesn’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. She has a deep testimony of her Savior Jesus Christ and is in close relationship with Him. In fact, part of her wisdom is understanding that it’s not her job to have all the answers. It’s her job to love and to walk alongside those she cares for as they find their own way to Christ! He life is her greatest example.
A matriarch doesn’t take away pain, but she makes space for it, eases it with a listening ear, a comforting presence, and words that soothe. She shows those around her that they are loved, that they belong, and that no matter what they’re going through, they are not alone.
In the context of the gospel, the role of the matriarch is not about ruling or controlling; it’s about serving with love, offering wisdom, and being a source of encouragement for others. When a matriarch models this, she gives younger women a beautiful blueprint to follow—a map that shows them how to grow into their own strength, how to serve with grace, and how to embrace the fullness of life in every season.
Becoming a matriarch is a choice. It’s not something that just happens to you. That would be amazing if it did but less rewarding right? :-) Instead it’s something you grow into over time, by choices through faith, wisdom, and love. Every woman can become a matriarch, but not every mother will. It’s a role that’s earned through living, learning, and growing. A matriarch can be a woman from any background or stage of life. What defines her is the wisdom she has gained and the way she chooses to use that wisdom to serve the world around her.
Whether she’s guiding her children, serving in her community, or supporting a circle of friends, a matriarch’s influence is powerful—not because of her title, but because of the way she lives. Oh how blessed I am to have learned from Matriarchs throughout my life. Matriarchs show that true influence doesn’t come from power or position; it comes from love, from listening, from being present. And by living this way, she leaves behind a legacy of wisdom, love, and strength for those who follow.
That’s what being a matriarch is all about. It’s not a position you seek; it’s a way of living—a way of loving, serving, and growing in wisdom and grace as you pour yourself into the lives of those around you. A Matrirach’s power is not in who she is pretending to be but in who she truly is, it is found in her PRESENCE! And, oh, what a gift that is. This can ONLY be done through our Savior Jesus Christ, through the enabling power of His atonement. It is a transformation from natural man to a saint. It is being born again, truly converted, and a new creature. Oh how excited I am to go on this journey. I am so thankful the Lord has inspired me to go on this journey and I am so glad you are here because I pray if you feel inspired as well that you will join me and other women as we embark on this beautiful journey together.
Love your Sister in Christ Paige